Wednesday, June 24, 2009

"Recipe for a Re-occurring Injury" (or "There Shall Be No Pussing Out in Jiu Jitsu")

  • Step 1: Break left foot/toe bone.
  • Step 2: Rest one day.
  • Step 3: Continue to train employing elaborate but ineffective taping strategies on affected areas. Consume massive doses of Advil.
  • Step 4: Solely due to increased swelling, discoloration and spine-tingling pain, reluctantly see a doctor. Doctor says something about resting for 6 weeks, and prescibes a giant boot to protect you gnarled foot.
  • Step 5: Rest (i.e., repeat Step 2) no more than 3 - 5 days.
  • Step 6: Ignoring doctor and all rational and concerned family and friends (inclusive of girlfriend).
  • Step 7: Train excessively, under the self-deceiving impression that the tape on your foot is protecting you from harm.
  • Step 8 Stop applying tape, believing you are healed (of course).
  • Step 9 (important): Re-injure affected area.
  • Step 10: Repeat Steps 2 and 3, this time using more tape. Limp.
Or better yet:
  • Step 1: Admit you powerless over jiu jitsu - and that your life has become unmanageable ...


  1. I'm with you on this.
    Injuries not affecting central organs like the brain, heart, and lungs can be ignored. You always have amputation as a last resort for injuries affecting limbs.

  2. AWWW shit this is so true and funny. Broke four of my toes and started using duct tape!!!