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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

"Recipe for a Re-occurring Injury" (or "There Shall Be No Pussing Out in Jiu Jitsu")

  • Step 1: Break left foot/toe bone.
  • Step 2: Rest one day.
  • Step 3: Continue to train employing elaborate but ineffective taping strategies on affected areas. Consume massive doses of Advil.
  • Step 4: Solely due to increased swelling, discoloration and spine-tingling pain, reluctantly see a doctor. Doctor says something about resting for 6 weeks, and prescibes a giant boot to protect you gnarled foot.
  • Step 5: Rest (i.e., repeat Step 2) no more than 3 - 5 days.
  • Step 6: Ignoring doctor and all rational and concerned family and friends (inclusive of girlfriend).
  • Step 7: Train excessively, under the self-deceiving impression that the tape on your foot is protecting you from harm.
  • Step 8 Stop applying tape, believing you are healed (of course).
  • Step 9 (important): Re-injure affected area.
  • Step 10: Repeat Steps 2 and 3, this time using more tape. Limp.
Or better yet:
  • Step 1: Admit you powerless over jiu jitsu - and that your life has become unmanageable ...

2 comments:

  1. I'm with you on this.
    Injuries not affecting central organs like the brain, heart, and lungs can be ignored. You always have amputation as a last resort for injuries affecting limbs.

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  2. AWWW shit this is so true and funny. Broke four of my toes and started using duct tape!!!

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